耐性有限

get fucking tired of everything, almost everything


i kept see a film after a film, movies after movies
library closed
i watch an episode after an episode, series after series
stay up later than time of study
sleep less than time of study


tired of speaking
when i was at ilice's place today
i wanted to lie down on his bed and just listen to him talking and talking
just close my eyes, smiling at him

but i couldnt
it was too hot
i dont want to lie in anyone's bed with my dirty body



i wonder why i wanted to cry
last night

i dont love him
no more
no longer
was it love? or only passion?
that kind of relaiton aint gonna last

why felt like crying
what possessed me
what kind of emotion and feeling was that

sick of seeing his pic
his words
but escape brings no real way out
i wont delete his name
not today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow



still i smiled at ilice today
and we talked
since that i am tired of almost everything and speaking
i didnt mention what bothered me at all

and i carried the heavy 4 kg notebook, heading back with my butt wound
alone